The Mechanism

“The mechanism is very simple,” he told me. “And it solves a number of problems, the first of which is that I could find no method of killing the birds that did not cause undue discomfort to either me or them.” “You care for the feelings of chickens?” “I suppose I care for nothing but myself, in the end. If the chicken dies frightened, I feel that.” “Explain the mechanism, please. It seems to be some sort of guillotine.” “Wouldn’t it be preferable first to explain the problem that it solves?” “I’m sure the problem is that you don’t like wringing the necks of chickens. Though if you do it quickly, I don’t believe it hurts.” “Just the thought,” he said. “And the feel of live flesh dying in my hands. I won’t go into detail here: it’s soft, it’s alive, it’s pulsing, and then it goes limp, then spasms. That’s all insufferable.” “Why not an axe? This is really a very elaborate thing you have here. “There’s still the betrayal.” “The betrayal of chickens?” “Of life. Look, one day you come out of your house and head to the coop and your chicken heads out of his house and meets you half way because she knows she’s about to get food. The pattern is established; I’m the bringer of life. Every day, the same thing. I come out; I spread seed. I am the bringer of pleasure. Then one day I come out, and I pick up the chicken, and I wring its neck. If feel fear because I have always been the bringer of life. Now I am the bringer of death. Or if I go for the axe, then the chicken is confused and therefore frightened. With this device, it’s all very simple. I put the seed here. The chicken puts her head in the guillotine to get it. There are two trip mechanisms both of which have to be tripped for the thing to work. One is tripped by putting the head through the hole. The other is weight sensitive.” “So when a chicken reaches a certain weight…” “The first trigger is pulled. And when she then sticks her head in the second is pulled—and, slam! Before she takes her first bite her head is on the seed. I merely collect the corpses with the eggs.”